The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
I need a secretary to manage my drinking schedule.
In my defense, last night's hookup turned out to be my actual girlfriend. That's gotta count for something, right?
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
Just woke up with the taste of tequila, weed, and cigarettes in my mouth spooning a friend I haven't seen since college wearing one contact and one ankle sock. I hate myself.
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
Good news!! I can adult!! 😂 turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement ðŸ˜ðŸ˜‚
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
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