How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
The waitress at the airport bar just asked me if I wanted a "to go" beer, hahahahaha OF COURSE I WANT A TO GO BEER.
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
I DONT KNOW HOW I'M NOT DEAD, JESUS CHRIST ON A DOUBLE DECKER FUCKING KEANU REEVES BUS
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
Randomize
