i just saw a man dusting the fake palm trees at the mall
...welcome to nebraska
The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
Randomize
