Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
Imagine getting a FB inbox "hey I found your ID on the floor of a bar can you send me a mugshot so I can get a second piece of ID made?"
In case you wake up wondering why your eyes hurt... You were claiming to be Zeus and that mortal weapons couldn't harm you. Some chick took it as a challenge and pepper sprayed you. Sorry dude.
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
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