i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
Dick very happy bro
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
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