i caught a guy at work today stealing condoms. i let him go when i realized that they were extra small.
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
That's how pantless uber rides happen
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Randomize
