Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
well I can't set my house on fire every night
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
I'm pretty sure I just overheard my boss call his sperm precious metal...
I woke up to the sound of gentle rain, only to realize I was laying under a urine trough in the men's restroom. Fuck you, bourbon. Fuck you.
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
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