he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
Randomize
