david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
you got in your car and made the sounds of a NASCAR, then called me on your phone and I was your pit crew. then you apparently you won the race, and THAT'S when you tried to backflip off the top of your car.
I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
Also, apparently I'm only coherent when I'm drunk sexting. And then I'm grammatically perfect and impressively eloquent.
Randomize
