glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
Also, i'm pretty sure i've had my birth control pill stuck in my throat since like...two pm. So i'll be practicing safe oral sex tonight.
I really hope you get sexually violated by a pterodactyl tonight.
I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
When people ask about my bruises, I'm just going to say it was a doorknob. Or possibly a group of doorknobs. Angry doorknobs.
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
Randomize
