Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
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