For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
you wrote "5 million dollars" in the tip line for the pizza delivery man and insisted that he deserves it
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
Just saw my bank statement. It literally goes liquor store pizza place liquor store pizza place bar bar bar liquor store pizza place 711 for snacks withdrawl for drugs rinse and repeat
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
You don't know the true meaning of fear until your girlfriend's niece insists on sitting on your lap with 20 mg of Viagra coursing through your veins.
If I get laid tonight it will 1.) Prove that the sex gods do in fact exist, and 2.) Show that I am one motherfucking badass bitch.
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
I just got baptized.
Drunkenly skinny dipping in a indoor hotel pool is not okay and does not count as a baptism.
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