Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
operation harelip BJ is a go
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
how do i say, "my ex is going to be at this party so don't look like shit" without sounding like a bitch?
I think that's the first time i've seen 'you look like an ugly version of my ex' work as a pickup line
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
Randomize
