get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
Remember when we thought adulthood would be different than college?
It is different. We had hopes and dreams back then. Now we're just alcoholics.
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
Randomize
