u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
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