i'm in hospital, i have an exam in 3 hours and the man in the cubicle next to me is doing a noisy poo. this has to get better.
he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
Randomize
