Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
is it weird that i blow-dry my hair and poop at the same time?
not any weirder than you telling me this at 4 in the morning
this isnt the person you just texted but i have her phone. she disappeared when the bacon came home and she hasn't returned since.
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
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