Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
Just flooded the bathroom while masturbating in the shower. Managed to squeege most of it up. Desperately need to get laid.
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
Tonight's trip to the ER was brought to you by, "fork jousting."
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
If I showed up at your door with pizza and a bottle of tequila wearing nothing but chaps and a fireman helmet, would you send me away?
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
Randomize
