There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
In lieu of flowers, please donate to The Hungover Children's Fund in my name.
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
im actually so stoned and hungover i feel like a bag of jello stuffed into a human shape
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
Randomize
