Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
you have to give me like a days notice for these kinds of things, you cant just call at 9 am and expect me to be sober
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
You didn't have enough money so you tried to convince the cashier that "four dollar foot long" rolled off the tongue better. Stop drinking. Immediately.
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
Happy anniversary, did you sign and mail in the divorce papers yet?
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
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