Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
she was so hammered she started drinking dishwasher detergent
I dont know whats funnier - that, or that we learned that poison control is closed at 2 AM
So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
Randomize
