You love me.
That's because, tragically, I adore whores.
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
Pretty sure one of my drivers stopped to get laid while he was delivering a pizza. Is it appropriate to give him a write-up AND a high-five?
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
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