i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
Dude I was fucking my girl on the couch and her dog came up and licked my balls. Does that mean we just had a threesome?
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
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