I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
You said your legs stopped working and then pulled yourself around the floor with your hands.
That explains the wood chips stuck in my nipples.
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
An outback commercial just played and I remembered that guy from Australia Imade out with at the Derby. Great Bachelorette Party, btw.
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
Is it sad or funny that I just bought two pregnancy test at the dollar store to give away to people on New Year's Eve while driving for Uber.
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
Randomize
