Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right?
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
Just erased 'masturbate' from my mental To-Do list because I've got too much stuff to do. I hate adulthood
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
Just come get me. Somewhere there's hobo that's going to want his dumpster back, and I kinda want to be gone when he discovers the vomit.
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Randomize
