You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
When I unzipped my pants I said "Release the Cracken"... she dug it so we're getting married soon.
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
"Little drunk?" Honey you were "livetweeting" Sublime's "Sublime" album while it was playing in his car, and at one point you said you hoped they play Santeria. "Little drunk" doesn't cover it.
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
Randomize
