I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
It's great when the cashier at the liquor store asks "weren't you wearing those clothes yesterday"
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
Randomize
