Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
I just saw a Puerto Rican child between the ages of 8 and 11 with a faint mustache talking very loudly on the bluetooth in his ear about how "Skittles are played the fuck out"
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer.
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
Randomize
