I think scott just propositioned me for sex
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
He just stabbed two olives and a pickle with a fork and deep throated it in front of my family
Not even marginally surprised
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
Randomize
