Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
come pick me up. please. i just puked in my lap. bring pants.
He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
Why do i feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear?
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
Randomize
