he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
Dude, I'm telling you, date younger. He brought pizza, made me squirt twice, and then left to immediately go to brunch with his mom.
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
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