just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
Just woke up with 34 slim-jims in my pocket. Too afraid to check the others.
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
My mom just came into the kitchen and watched me take a double shot of whiskey and chase it with a beer and said "you are my son." Proudest family moment ever
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
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