she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
Farmville is her only friend.
She tied me up with her honor cords...
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
Literally had a conversation with the pizza as to why it was a bad idea to reach in the back seat and grab a slice while driving. The pizza was right, it was safer to just wait until I got home.
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
Randomize
