i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
I'm gonna die fat and alone and all they will find is pizza crusts
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
All of my friends are talking about changing their lives because they have an alcohol addiction and I'm over here reminding my boss that it's national beer day.
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
I learned three things this morning. Don't get out of my car without my keys, don't let a girl paint my nail unless I'm getting laid by said girl, and lastly I learned how to break into my own car.
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
Randomize
