Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
I refuse to go to this wedding alone, or sober. Practice drunk-walking in heels and a Bridesmaid dress begins tonight.
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
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