Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
When I say I took advantage of you when you were drunk, I mean that I convinced you to let me paint cute little panda bears on all of your toenails.
You can't just call animal control when you're drunk because there is a bug in the shower.
I think the highlight of my night is when I was eating a mayonnaise sandwich. drunk me was on point.
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
I just took a condom out of my purse and opened it in front of my entire family because I thought it was a wetnap. Way too hungover for family brunch.
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
He walked into me masturbating to a framed picture of Bill Murray riding a t-rex
Randomize
