Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
Just found a uh poem I wrote on ambien. It says to "cry your seamen filled tears" and "I hope you take a dagger to your vagina" and at the end it says "sincerely, God". What.the.fuck do they put in that pill?
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
i fucking swear, saying shit like "i dont get jealous" is like personally inviting your slutty friend to fuck the guy you slept with like a month ago
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
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