I didn't shave. On purpose
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
Just bought a beer belt to complete the Captain America outfit. I will do my part as a hero of America to pass out beer to the good citizens of America.
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
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