Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
You asked for 4 things: your phone, your wallet, your keys and your denture. I stopped asking questions.
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
Randomize
