I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
Randomize
