If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
only you would photoshop your dick
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
It’s bad enough my brother slept with half of the sorority this year, but now he’s lifeguarding at the club and every divorcée and cougar in town is asking me for his number. My twin is a manwhore and I’ve become his pimp.
Randomize
