Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
Sex on the scooter in the parking lot wasn't the smartest idea. Actual quote from the cop as he handed me the ticket and fist bumped me.
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
I just asked my mom if I could be the drunk realitive at the reunion. She said as long as I'm not obvious.
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
Randomize
