Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
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