Why would I want to inherit a sex machine used by my grandma?
my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
My ass is underappreciated
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
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