Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
For every drunk face picture you send me, I'm gonna send a wholesome family photo.
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
Dude I got in an Uber this morning and he goes “I drove you last night”\n“You got your dick sucked in the back seat”
Randomize
