So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
You told me you were going to invite all of your Tinder matches to the same bar on the same night and make them compete for your affection in a series of Lust Olympics. Winner gets laid.
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
Randomize
