Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
Randomize
