Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
I'm too stoned to come over for sex
Yes that is a Krispy Kreme doughnut on my cock
I'll be right over
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
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