I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
The feeling are messing with the penis
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
Neighbor is sitting on his porch looking like he made some terrible life decisions and I just want to be like "I drank half of a handle of peach vodka in a shed last night. I understand" but I think they're swingers so his night probs sucked more.
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
Randomize
