I am I'm going to have heart failure he's peed on my life.
Mom and Dad are dead. Trust fund
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
I went with vodka instead of tequila tonight so I make better decisions. Fool proof plan.
Randomize
