i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
and this is why i am such an inspirational person, i am the Joel Osteen of alcoholics.
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
i'm high and 74% sure there's a monster in my closet
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
Randomize
