Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
You know you need to hit the gym when you're not strong enough to get the cork outta the wine bottle. And you know you're a drunk when that's the only motivation to do exercises
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
The sun is out, the birds are chirping, I made some brownies, I'm not pregnant
This is literally what my 13-year old cousin said to me this morning.
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
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