There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
I just totok an inventory of my purse: 1 apple, 1 pair of underwear, 7 condoms, $18 in ones, a check with "for sexual healing" in the subject line, and a 4 oz bottle of wine.
Oh! and a letter from a judge saying I got an interview. Cause that balances it out.
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
MY DAD KEEPS LIKING PORN LINKS/ALBUMS ON FACEBOOK AND THEY ALL SHOW UP IN MY NEWSFEED
He told me to leave him behind and bury him in his batman pajamas. So two lessons I guess, don't give Tom whiskey and don't touch his daddy issues with a twenty nine and a half foot pole.
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
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