I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
Apparently the guard had to repeat "you're too drunk to get in" three times before I understood. I guess he was right.
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
Randomize
