Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
worst morning ever. completed my walk of shame home to find my parents, grandma, and priest had come down to surprise me on my birthday. now i'm in the car with them to go get my car from the bar.
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
I was THIS CLOSE. But drunk me wanted to play those washboard abs with a spoon, like an actual washboard. Apparently that hurts, so I just squished it out at home alone.
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
You abruptly started screaming because they had and I quote “calamari on the hoof”
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