so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
Talking her gay man friend into dancing with me officially makes me the world's best wingman. ever.
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
I ran into him drunk, barefoot, at rite aid and he said I looked "stunning." Yeah, Stunningly shitfaced haha
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
Randomize
