Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
Reading my bank statement stoned makes me feel like an adult.
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
Today I found out that my boss keeps a breathalyzer on his desk for just these sort of shenanigans
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
Disregard everything I texted you last night. Oh, and disregard me hooking up with your boyfriend.
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
Randomize
