SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
MY TWIN SISTER IS ENGAGED. I REPEAT, MY SCREW UP OF A SISTER IS ENGAGED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I'll be there in 20 with vodka.
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
Randomize
